The Butthead Rental Prospect

Buttheads are everywhere, even in the Virgin Islands. Or should I say especially in the Virgin Islands? Let's just stick with the fact that they are everywhere.

So we get all kinds of calls and emails from prospective renters. Most are very respectful and simply looking for guidance and assistance. There are many reasons they prefer to work with a realtor, primarily they feel more secure and it calms worries of being ripped off by a dishonest homeowner.

Many of these inquiries are looking for places in the $600-$1000 per month range, and the truth is, there are not many of these places on island. And what does exist is typically rented directly by the owner, as they don't like to pay any commission on a lower priced unit like this. Yes, I know it is a lot to pay in many places of the world, but it really doesn't go far on this island.

So who are the buttheads? Well, we all know there are many types. So let's focus on one of my favorite kind- the "Aggressor". This is the kind of guy that wants to rent a $2000 place for $1000 a month, and then cusses you out when you won't consider it. They typically have a lot in common with the "Know it All", and they tell you how the owner would want us to rent it to them at this price because they are a great tenant, and their three dogs don't go to the bathroom or bark (it must have been the TV in the background making that noise), and their girlfriend isn't really a drunk, she was barely over the limit on those two DUI's last month, and that they will do all sorts of work on the place and improve it (despite the fact that they don't have a working car and are being kicked out of their current place for non-payment of rent).

So, you must make all interactions with the butthead fun. What can you do? Well, providing a really lengthy and confusing rental application would be a good one. Or set up meetings to see the house and not show up? What, it happens to me all the time. Asking for a bio of the dogs, along with photos, often brings some entertaining answers.

But I am looking to you for any creative comebacks on how to deal with the rental prospect buttheads. So bring it on. vikirkboeger@gmail.com.